You know what the scariest thing in this world is?
Think about it—we kill for it, die for it, hell some people live for it.
I’m terrified of money.
It is, and has always been, my overlord.
The insurmountable obstacle in my life.
American Dream? Ha! What is that? Can I eat it? Will it pay my bills for me?
No…but it would probably make me happy. At least that’s what it promises right?
I don’t want riches or luxury.
All I want is to divorce from the constant worry, followed by the inevitable depression, about the bills.
I want to be able to live my life, to see things, to leave the toxic environment I am in.
But I can’t—and before you ask, no it is not because “I’m not trying hard enough.”
I’ve spent my whole life trying, but there’s only so much you can do until the lack of funds halts your momentum.
The hardest thing to come to terms with is the disillusionment.
That moment when the blindfold is ripped off and years , decades, of dreams and hopes abruptly come to an end.
Honestly, I don’t know how I survived that, I don’t know how anybody survives that.
But we do.
Just gotta keep swimming against that current I guess.
I’ve tried most of the Change your life! Be the Best You! motivational outlets in existence.
Yoga, meditation, Self-Help books—you name it.
And you know what I found? That unless you have some funds, even a small amount, you, my friend, are basically fucked.
You can’t make changes in your life —the drastic changes that you need— unless you have some kind of money stashed away.
I’m working on getting that right now but it is a slow process.
My point is that money is scary, you really can’t do much without it.
I hate that I need it to live, and I hate even more that I equate it with happiness.
Whoever said money can’t buy you happiness was never poor.
Sure, you can’t buy affection, or fulfillment but you know what? Money helps.
Money can buy you peace of mind, it can buy you safety, and it will most definitely allow you to pursue what you love.
Many of us don’t have that choice.
Even worse, many people don’t even have a choice at all.
At the end of the day, I like to remind myself that I am fortunate compared to most and that I should be thankful for what I have and I am—most days.
But not today.
Still…another day, another dollar.
-Ink me In